Our friends Cindy and Steve were in town last weekend and they brought their 17 year old son Tyler with them. They live in Alaska so they like coming to Boise in the winter. It is their chance to soak up some warmth, some sun and walk snow free in the foothills or along the Greenbelt.

On one of our walks, as Tyler remained at home playing Call of Duty, Cindy confessed to what we already guessed to be true. Tyler was “addicted” to video games. I say “confessed” because for years she and Steve did not want to believe it. Even though they had single handedly dragged him through high school and enrolled him in every after school activity imaginable (none of which he attended). They fought with him around weight gain, social isolation, lack of exercise and bedtimes. They hoped that it was just a phase or a characteristic of today’s teens but research is increasing identifying troubling characteristics of this generation’s electronics use.

While there is no single universally agreed to definition of “electronic addiction”, consider these statistics:

* Children ages 8 to 18 spend more than seven hours a day with mobile or online media (Kaiser Family Foundation, 2010).

* Kids are exposed to an average of four hours of TV a day, they spend an hour and a half on computers, and an hour and 13 minutes playing video games (Kaiser Family Foundation 2010).

* A 2010 study from the Eastern Ontario Research Institute found video games to blame chiefly for the rise in childhood obesity.

* In 2014, a Baylor University study found that college students spend nearly 8 hours on their cell phones per day posing potential risks for academic performance (Journal of Behavioral Addictions, 2014).

* In a German study from 2008, 1.5 – 3.5% of teenage internet users show signs of gaming addiction. Gaming addiction is associated with higher rates of anxiety and depression and poorer academic performance (Peukert et al. 2010, Psychiatrische Praxix).

The word addiction is not used lightly. Research suggests that every text for example creates a bit of the feel-good chemical dopamine. Points scored in a video game accomplish the same result. This is the same chemical augmented in the brain by cocaine, donuts and sex. According to Dr. Nora Volkow of the National Institute of Drug Abuse, when levels of dopamine are artificially elevated over time, the brain begins to consider these levels to be normal. This, in turn, creates a need which the brain strives to meet. So it may in fact be harder than we imagine for your teenager to put the phone down and turn to homework or to enjoy slower paced activities like reading.

So how do you know if your child is addicted to electronics? Here are some questions to ask yourself:

1. Is your child’s school work suffering because he or she spends too much time in front of screens?

2. Does screen time interfere with your child’s normal everyday activities such as getting ready for school, coming to family dinners or doing chores?

3. Does he/she miss bedtimes, do you catch them up late at night and do they appear exhausted in the morning?

4. Does he/she sneak online or lie about the extent of their screen use?

5. Has he/she lost interest in activities that used to be of interest and in which most kids are involved?

6. If you try to cut down on your child’s screen use, are you met with defiance, disrespect and irritation?

If these warning signs ring a bell, it is time to take action. Here are some steps you can take:

* Start by having a conversation with your child. Explain that your concerns are related to their happiness and well-being. Then work with your child to prioritize responsibilities and establish clear boundaries around screen use.

* Write a contract together specifying how much screen time your child can have each day and spell out the consequences for breaking the rules.

* Make a rule that during homework time, meal times and one hour before bedtime, all electronic devices are turned off.

* Use available parental controls to limit phone, TV and computer time.

* Create ways for your child to get healthy hits of dopamine in the real world, for example organized sports, volunteer work or other activities outside the home.

Finally, parents should set a good example through their own screen use. That means resisting the urge to surf the internet after dinner, text during family activities or watch TV instead of being available for your child. To that end, I enjoyed the visit with Cindy and Steve. We all set aside our devices for the weekend and instead were always outside and on the go. I hope their son Tyler was taking notes.